Nintendo is the protoform of all future E3 press conferences. It seems pretty obvious, but it’s the direction they’re all headed anyway. Get together a playlist and then have a video producer hit the big red streaming button when the time comes. Microsoft went hard on trailers, just as Bethesda did. Eventually they’ll cut out the humans altogether and we’ll finally start down this road where E3 dies (and is reborn as something more modern).

Case in point: they blew threw nine trailers in under half an hour. And nobody had to go to an arena or auditorium or theatre to watch them. Granted, those are pretty nifty experiences, getting state of the art sound systems and displays to blast your brain out of your butt, but they’re hardly necessary. And that’s the future of the press industry: efficiency. But as these trailers show, Nintendo still knows how to bring it.

(It and a vague Pokémon announcement from Game Freak.)

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 Exists

I’m glad someone out there is still making JRPGs. Not only that, but a JRPG got some press conference time. (It led the Spotlight, in fact!) I will also say that while I really did love the first one, I never finished it. Released in the middle of summer, I couldn’t find time to crank on 100+ hours of sci-fi fantasy.

But I’m still very excited at the prospect of having a One of Those to take along with me via the Switch. Actually, as games keep getting announced, I realize that yeah, the single greatest motivating factor for me now for playing a game for joy, even as someone covering the industry, is convenience. And the Switch is that. Anyway, look for Xenoblade Chronicles 2 this holiday season on the Switch.

Kirby Also Exists

You know what? I never think I’m interested in playing more Kirby until I see a Kirby game in motion. They remind me that fuck, Kirby Super Star was one of the best games to come out of that generation and still one of my favorites.

And now they’re adding four-player co-op, which is pretty neat. It looks like there are at least some meaningful interactions between players, though hopefully there are more than what we see here. But the idea of bouncing around and sucking in enemies with some buddies just generally sounds fun. No release date, though, and no official title, so I guess just sit on that excitement?

Metroid Prime 4 Might Exist

Cool. But no gameplay? No story? That was a pointless trailer. We need reassurances that 1) it exists and 2) you have new ideas to bring to a franchise everyone was perfectly fine with saying goodbye to 10 years ago. (Federation Force doesn’t count.) But also, it’s not being done by Retro Studios, sooooooooo…

So all we know is that there might be a game in the future for the Switch called Metroid Prime 4. Cool.

Yoshi Most Likely Exists

So I guess we’re just naming games after the mononymous protagonist now? They should change Metroid Prime 4 to just Samus if that’s the case. But I guess this game looks pretty damn adorable either way. Instead of a woolly world, Yoshi and his cadre of eggs and colorful comrades are stuck in a cool-looking cardboard diorama situation. That’s dope.

It’s also being made with Unreal Engine 4, which is not necessarily shocking but it’s definitely unexpected. You don’t find that a lot (read: at all) in Nintendo games. If you watched the 30-minute Treehouse demo, though, you won’t see a lot of what you didn’t expect, which is to say this looks like a Yoshi game. Better believe I’m gonna play the hell out of it, though. Should be out on the Switch next year.

Fire Emblem Warriors 100% Exists

It’s really cool that Intelligent Systems and Nintendo are so willing to get Fire Emblem into everything else out there. First with Super Smash Bros. but then quickly expanding into totally left field entries like with Shin Megami Tensei via Tokyo Mirage Sessions ♯FE. That’s just good fun for everyone.

But I do wonder who this game is attempting to serve. It seems like Dynasty Warriors and Fire Emblem cater to two drastically different tastes, if not entirely different audiences. So surely a new Dynasty Warriors gets those folks hyped, but do any of them care that Marth is in it, too? It comes out either way for the Switch and 3DS on October 13, 2017.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Expands Its Horizons

Fuck yeah. I mean, we already knew these were coming and we knew what they contained, but it’s still nice to see new footage. I also have so many questions as to why Link was climbing the non-ladder side of a lookout post. Is that some sort of next-level strategy I’m just not privy to?

But also fuck yeah the new map trail feature. The Master Trials comes out June 30, 2017, and The Champions’ Ballad sometime after that, though you have to buy them together with the singular Expansion Pass.

Rocket League Will Always Exist

Rocket League, much like Minecraft, is going to be on every single platform you both do and don’t own. The Switch? Yup. Your phone? Probably. That sandwich in your hand? Why not!

And you know what? That’s perfectly fine by me because that’s a goddamn good game. And if I can drive a car with a Mario hat on it, then absolutely I’m going to play that game. Not to mention there’s cross-network play, so you already can get going playing against other people irrespective of sales on the Switch. Look for it this holiday season.

Super Mario Odyssey is, uh…Yes

Pardon the language, but fuck you and fuck everything around you because you aren’t Super Mario Odyssey and it needs to be out right the fuck now. You can keep your Xbox One X teraflops and your Stormtroopers and whatnot. I want to throw a hat at a dinosaur and then become that dinosaur but with a mustache.

What a goddamn perfect reveal. It was like a Todd Howard presentation. Is it Monster Hunter? It can’t be Mario, but it should be Mario. But why is it so bright and why is there a T. Rex? Oh wait, is that—oh fuck.

It seems, though, that no one is asking the important question. If Cappy takes over things that it adorns, then who is controlling Mario himself? Is this going to take an Inside-like turn? I’m honestly a bit scared of that prospect. I can’t handle the truth. But also is anyone else hearing this theme song because it is straight fire, son. Fire!

There’s plenty of demonstrations captured from the ensuing Treehouse events if you’d like to see more. Super Mario Odyssey comes out for the Switch on October 27, 2017.